


Hell Hath No Fury

by megaotaku98



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Established Realtionship, Humor, M/M, Mafia AU, MinChan rise bitch, Minho is Chan's scary mob husband, Parody, but it's a nameless side character, rated for language and references to sex, tw mentions of blood and death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27667607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megaotaku98/pseuds/megaotaku98
Summary: There is only one thing that the ruthless Jundal leader Chan is afraid of- pissing off his husband.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 22
Kudos: 253





	Hell Hath No Fury

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Hello Hello!
> 
> Here I am once again with another fic! I got the idea for this one from a tiktok of all things; this one lady has a small series where she pretends to be a mob wife and I found it really funny, and of course my brain gears started moving! Although the joke "threats" in the tiktok are more severe than what I used, I didn't want there to be any illusion of a toxic relationship so the "horrible" punishment is really quite tame.  
> Also the humor is very inspired by the morbid humor I saw from the movie The Hitman's Bodyguard (a very entertaining film imo)
> 
> Quick disclaimer for this one: this is intended to be a parody/comedy. I don't condone gang activity and this is not intended to glorify or romanticize it in any way. The main focus is Minho and Chan's relationship, not the fact that Chan is a mafia leader.  
> Also, "Jundal" is what the Korean mafia is called.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

If there was ever a name that struck fear into the hearts of Seoul, it was the formidable leader of the most powerful Jundal family; Bang Chan. 

Intimidating, fearless, ruthless, anyone who dared to cross him would end up either dead or wishing they were dead.

However...Chan wasn’t invincible. And there was one, and only one, person that _he_ was afraid to anger.

  
  
  


There was a loud thump as the body hit the floor. Chan watched, with cold eyes, as the man who had turned traitor bled out on the rug in his living room.

Wait.

Shit.

That was the rug he’d gotten from his mother-in-law!

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Chan cursed, dragging a hand down his face, “we got blood on the rug.”

“...so?" Changbin asked, tucking away the gun that had been used to shoot the traitor.

“ _So,_ my husband is going to kill me!”

“Oh shit.”

“Husband?” Jisung, one of Chan’s newest close confidants, asked, “who, Minho? I don’t think that man could hurt a fly.”

“You haven’t been yelled at by Minho, have you?” questioned Changbin.

Jisung scoffed. “I’m not afraid of getting yelled at.”

“So that’s a no.”

As if on cue, there was a sound of the front door opening, and a sweet voice called out: “Channie~ I’m home~~”

Chan’s face went pale. “I’m doomed.”

Minho waltzed into the living room, and Chan turned around and said “heyyy love!” with a bright smile.

Minho walked over and gave Chan a passionate greeting kiss, and said “I missed you today baby~”

“Missed you too, my darling,” Chan replied, gently holding Minho’s hands and gazing at him lovingly.

“Oh, we have guests!” Minho said, noticing Jisung and Changbin, “hello gentlemen, what brings you….here...is that a body?”

Chan gulped. “Uh, yeah. He turned traitor, so we had to, uh, take him out…”

“...you didn’t make a mess, did you?”

“Well…”

Minho’s eyes narrowed, and he pushed past Chan, walking over to the corpse. He looked down at it. Looked back at Chan.

“Bang Chan,” he said, “how many times do I have to tell you? If you’re going to kill someone, do it in the BATHROOM!”

“I’m sorry baby-”

“Do you know how hard it is to get blood out of a rug? Do you? DO YOU?!”

“Uh-”

“No you _don’t_ , because you’re always off doing your ridiculously dangerous mafia lifestyle!”

“It’s not _ridiculous,_ ” Jisung cut in.

Minho glared at him. 

“ _Stay out of this!_ ” he snapped.

Jisung made a high pitched “eep!” and hid behind Changbin.

“What did I tell you the last time I had to scrub blood out of my mother’s rug??” Minho continued, whirling back to Chan, “the one she graciously gave us as a wedding gift??”

“....couch for a week….” Chan mumbled.

“That’s right, you get the couch for a week! I’m going upstairs to get the carpet cleaner, and this body better be gone by the time I get back down!”

And with that, Minho stormed upstairs, leaving the other three behind.

Chan let out a weary groan. “I hate sleeping on the couch…”

“C’mon, it can’t be that bad,” Changbin said.

“No, you don’t understand. Not sharing a bed with Minho means _not sharing a bed_ with Minho. I can’t go a week without sex, it’s torture!” Chan whined.

Jisung inhaled his spit and started coughing. “W-what? A week without sex is nothing, man.”

“Listen, when you have a partner like Minho….he’s _insatiable_ ,” Chan said, smiling fondly at the thought, “it’s super hot. God, I love him so much. Anyways we should get moving, I know he's purposely taking forever to give us time.”

They grabbed the body and dragged out back to the shed, where they rolled it up in a large tarp. They then put the tarp in the trunk of Changbin’s car, and drove off to go dump it.

“So how did you and Minho meet?” Jisung asked on the way, “I don’t think you’ve told us before.”

Chan let out a dreamy sigh.

“It was six years ago…” he began, “I was on my way home from the bar when I happened upon someone getting mugged. I was about to step in and help, but then the victim pulled out some black belt level Tae Kwon Do. It was the most beautiful display of violence I've ever seen in my entire life. He broke the mugger's nose and his arm and slammed his head against a wall. The moment he noticed me, I asked him out for a drink. Two years later we tied the knot.”

“That’s rather...unconventional,” Jisung said.

“I adore that man,” Chan said, sighing again, “he's a spicy firecracker and I wouldn't have it any other way.”

“Even when he yells at you?” asked Changbin.

Chan shrugged. “He’s quick to forgive, and the make-up sex is absolute nirvana.”

“This is officially the weirdest relationship I've ever seen,” commented Jisung.

“Give it a month,” Changbin said, “you’ll walk in on them in Chan’s office.”

“Gross,” Jisung replied, making a face.

They arrived at a small bridge over a river, tied some cinder blocks to the rolled up tarp, and pushed the body into the water.

“I'll leave the ‘anonymous' tip for the police. Minsoo should knock them off our trail,” Changbin said.

“Sounds good,” Chan responded, “aw man I think some blood got on my suit…”

Changbin dropped Chan back off at home, and Chan walked inside and saw Minho back in the living room, kneeling by the rug and scrubbing aggressively with a brush.

“Hey, I’m sorry love,” he said, walking over towards Minho and sitting down next to him.

Minho paused his scrubbing. “You better be. I do a lot of work around the house, and then you go and dirty it up again! It's bad enough I have to lie to my parents all the time about your line of work and worry about police barging through our door and taking you away forever, but then you make everything more difficult!”

“I know, I know, I forgot to be careful this time. I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

“How so?”

“Well, what do you want?”

Minho thought for a moment. “A nice dinner. A day off. I wanna be pampered.”

“Done, done and done. Only the best for you, my love. Do you forgive me?”

“Of course I forgive you,” Minho said gently, “...I hope I didn't yell too loudly. I think the new guy almost pissed himself.”

“Jisung will get used to it,” Chan laughed, ”shall we go tomorrow then?”

"Tomorrow would be great. By the way, I’m making kimbap for dinner tonight, so don’t go out okay?”

“Oh, I was going to get drinks with the guys later…”

Minho stared at Chan, unblinking. “We’re having. Kimbap. Tonight.”

“I guess the guys can wait,” Chan said, not wanting to spend a second week on the couch.

Minho smiled brightly. “Good! I’ll make a big batch so you can take the leftovers for lunch tomorrow.”

Chan pulled Minho in close, kissing him sweetly.

“I truly adore you,” he said.

“I know,” Minho answered, “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment or a kudos if you liked it!
> 
> Follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/goldenjung9497)


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